Have Courage and be Kind...to Yourself When you're Husband is Travelling.

He’s got another business trip booked.

I get it.  It's hard.  

It’s even worse when you have toddlers, because once kids are on the loose, you can forget about having even one cup of fresh hot coffee. And if you happen to find your coffee in the microwave a day later growing mold scum, you’ll actually horrify yourself when you press reheat and drink it anyway.  This is the life of moms of toddlers.  

Where was I, oh yes, it’s hard when you’ve got a travelling husband, because moms need a break,  adult conversation and someone to take out the garbage.

I recently saw a movie where the mom goes to jail and the first time she sees her three kids, she tells them how happy she is that she gets to CHOOSE between doing the dishes and the laundry.  Jail.  Ya’ll.  Jail.  Raising kids is hard, hard work and even the best of us have our fantasies sometimes.   

(insert confession here) There may have been a moment when my kids were tiny and velcroed to my legs where the idea of being tucked into a hospital bed having some kind of minor surgery with a tray of food beside me sounded like a wonderful retreat.  

And why is it when husbands travel is the exact moment everything goes wrong or breaks down?  

This is NOT a wives tale.  It’s a nightmare.  (Ask me about the rattle snake on the front porch in Texas story) 

Sometimes our minds can be our own worst enemy.

Someone’s in the basement waiting to murder us the second our husband gets on the plane.

The plane that you’re sure is going to crash.

But not to worry because our husbands travel companion Angelina Jolie will hold his hand and help give him oxygen from her own body when that mask thingy fails. 

And does it really matter that we have no idea what all our online banking passwords are?

Or how to change the digital clock in the car?

Or use the remote control?

And let me warn you now, kids know how to play you when you're flying solo.  When my kids were really little they used to turn on the waterworks the moment I said it was time for bed.  

“I miss Daddy!  I can’t sleep!”  (floods of tears) And then they would drag their blankets, pillows and stuffed animals into my bed and tell me the popcorn I made (to watch Bachelor or Parenthood) needed a lot more butter.  Rascals!  

Is there anything sweet and good about travelling husbands?

Of course!  You get a chance to miss each other.  That’s so sweet and romantic.  Let’s just ponder  that for a minute.  Awww.

There’s also FaceTime.  

That’s when you get to see your husband eating steak in a fancy restaurant and he gets to see you pulling Kraft dinner out of your hair.  

No, that’s not all, there’s also handing the kids over when he gets home and then running to Super Target or Starbucks to find yourself again.  

But lean in real close because I’m going to whisper something really true now.

We CAN do this.

We are strong, capable, independent amazing women who are really good at multi-tasking.

We are our kids BEST moms.

And our husbands BEST partners.

Just the other day my husband swooped me up, looked into my eyes and said, “Oh my queen, you are the most beautiful creature on earth!"  Oh wait, I might be thinking of a conversation between Fernando and Kimmy Gibler from Fuller House.  But our husbands really DO appreciate us holding down the fort and raising the kids while he slays dragons and we really DO... not like dragons at all.     

So hang in there mamas.  You are NOT alone!  Bust open your front door, wheel that stroller down to your best friends house and walk it out…together.     

Have courage and remember, Borax is your best friend.  1/2 cup to each wash for fresh smelling everything.

Just For You Love.  

1.  Get out of your head.  When you're husband is away and you are someone who has the gift of an elaborate imagination, now is the time to keep busy, get together with people who love you and TRUST your husband with your whole heart.  

2.  Go to bed when the kids go to bed!  You have the WHOLE bed to yourself! Wash the sheets and spritz them with vanilla or lavender.  Relax, read or watch something funny or happy on Netflix.  Give yourself a facial mask and rub your arms, hands and legs with lotion.  Put leave in conditioner in your hair and call your mom, dad, sister or your grandma!

3.  The 30 minute bath break.  If you have toddlers, put them in the bath every single night with sugar free popsicles, water colour crayons or bath toys, sit where you can still see them and read your favourite magazines.   This isn't so much about getting kids clean as it is about giving yourself a little break.    

4.  Hide your phone.  You're a man down.  Your kids are going to be all over you.  It's tempting to want to escape into scroll mode on Instagram or answer every work email you receive, but I promise you that's only going to do two things for you.  Make you anxious and make your kids crazy for your attention.  Hide your phone and live in the moment with your kids.  Feel their soft skin, breathe in their shampooed hair, look into their enormous innocent eyes and listen to all their sweet squeaky words.  They are little and they are yours...for a time.  Run away together if you need to get away from your laundry.  Because your laundry is a mountain that calls to you like a swiss yodeller.   

Got any funny husband travelling stories or single mom survival hacks?  Share in the comments!  xo